When everyone was out on the streets counting down to the year 2012, I was glad I was at home, snuggling under the comforts of my blanket. Although it seemed a merry tradition to be out partying and having fun with friends, I am glad to say my family and I were conserving our strength to worship God on Sunday morning.
Two Thousand and Eleven came and passed too quickly. So many things happened this year, and I feel I have grown up a great deal. Here are some huge milestones that looking back, marks the year 2011.
1. Reverend Lai’s departure
It isn’t that things were different after he left, but things certainly felt different. Every once in a while we would think: “hey! this was a film Mu Shi talked about!”, “this was a book he was raving about!”, “this was someone he shared with us about!”, “this was a place Mu Shi would love to go to!” It feels part painful, and part empty. We certainly remember the lessons he taught us, his spirit of perseverance and endurance. He was a warrior. The weaker he got physically, the stronger he became in spirit – and he wrote powerful and beautiful words of wisdom that moved the soul. We really miss him. His gentle demeanor, his fatherly guidance and admonition, his wise remarks and witty jokes. I don’t know how my mum does it, being so strong even when she feels alone. I really need to empathize with her and show her more support and love as a daughter.
2. I started work
I survived Practicum, graduated from NIE, moved back home and began driving to work daily. I love the school I am currently in, there are certainly faults, but there is also so much warmth and spirit, I think I will learn a lot from the people and entironment here. I became co-form teacher to a lovable Secondary One class. It took us awhile to warm up to each other, even up till now I may not have won all their hearts, but I certainly hope I can do a better job as an FT next year. Give me a chance! And more importantly, give yourself a chance, shao! I think I need to learn to believe in myself (in Christ to work in me) and take some positive action rather than sit back and wait for something to be thrown at me. Next year, I need to be more pro-active in my entire being – body, mind and soul.
3. I begin to think about Mr Shao
For twenty four years of my life, I have suppressed (or ignored) this issue. Up to last year I was still, in all honesty, dreaming of having kids without getting married. Suffice to say I would think of playing with my own two children, but I could conjure up no man in my heart or mind. This year, I think I must have become more logical in my thinking. Especially at a good friend’s wedding when an old mentor warned us how easy it is to let our youth slip by – we need to make opportunity – those were her very words! That conversation, albeit friendly, probably scared me out of my wits. We shall see what surprises 2012 will bring, or not.
4. I tried to exercise
I try every year I think, but this year I really did try. Maybe just not hard enough. But I have made improvement, and I will continue to add to my list of weekly activities, jogging! 2012 will be an even more challenging one in this regard, because my dear friend’s wedding is coming, and she has requested I be her bridesmaid!!! It is such an honour – beyond words, really. But if I don’t cut off this tummy (and those elephant thighs), I will never be able to be her bridesmaid trying to hold my breath in that pretty lil dress! HAHA.
5. I drifted further from God
Every year we sit down, write in our journals, open our Bibles, and try to count our blessings. This year, I need to confess that I have been neglecting God. I still go to church, and serve, and play with the lovely children there, put aside time for fellowship, pray, but goodness the degree of intimacy with Christ can be so obviously gauged from your spirit, your heart and just by the sheer number of blessings you can count! I know my heart is not in the right place… often I try to count my blessings and only the really generic, mundane things come up. I need to reposition my compass to look at Christ, not at man, nor at myself. It’s such a killer mistake. Please hoshao, please don’t think you can go through 2012 the way you did in 2011. Because despite the joys and challenges and trials you’ve overcome, you will drift even further away from Him, and you will feel weaker and more helpless before you know it.
Alright so these are some of the Top 5 Milestones I can recall when I think of 2011. Well some of them are not really “milestones”, but you get the idea. May Two Thousand and Twelve be all the better! Courage to step forth in Faith!