Giving in, or giving up
The end of this week was quite a whirlwind of emotions – happy, sad, sour – rolled into one.
As teachers during the exam season, we marked, marked, and marked some more. The scripts came in since end of April, but we were still marking machines just one, two days ago. I have to admit I did cut myself a lot of slack during this one week or so while the kids were having their examinations. I think we deserved it, as teachers, after running nearly half a year or a marathon with the kids. Anyway we invest a lot of emotion worrying for them outside of the examination venue! (Plus, who could have resisted the opening of the Avengers movie?)
Because of the shorter school hours I also found time to return to a new coffee joint, buried in the Upper Thomson private residential area. Once to do marking and a second time this weekend with a colleague to have lunch and write our marker’s reports. It was jolly nice to introduce that lovely place to someone who appreciates the range of coffees and ambience of the place.
This may sound kind of cryptic, but I realized that a lot of it is about either giving in, or giving up.
When my kids get into trouble, increasingly, and I feel that I have screwed up. Sometimes I think about distancing myself from all of this mess, and just give in to apathy. There is little we can do, and perhaps apart from our official duties as FT, I am not in the right position to give advice or counsel. How then can I – why then should I – make myself involved just because I care?
More often than not when I mark those scripts, my heart sinks more than it leaps in hope. In those cases, I have to struggle against giving up, quite honestly. What else can I do to get them past this hurdle?
It seems premature and vain to conclude that you are struggling to move on. But if so, does it also entail giving up an ideal of love and truth and beauty?
And here I am trying to stop myself from giving in to unfounded emotions, especially when there seems to sirens of warning against it everywhere.