I feel like a schoolgirl all over again… minus the racing heartbeat. The thoughts, the what ifs, the uncertainties and questions all remain the same. I feel like a schoolgirl all over again.
When I switch to rational mind mode, I begin numbering the exchanges we have had, and asking, Why would he?
But when I switch to fantasy mind mode, I begin to dream up the thousands of possibilities that makes my heart flutter with joyful glee. Hee.
Thank GOD I can still function as a normal human being and actually focus on my work when I switch to work mode or my life is essentially over.
It does not help, especially, when some colleagues have pointed towards the same possibility in sincere jest.
But what I really wanted to say here, in Writing Promising Change, is that it is really… nothing. This ding-dong fantastical romance whirl is nothing but a fluffy cheesecake with some blueberries and strawberries thrown on, decked with a chocolate bar in the shape of a ribbon. It is quite nothing.
It might become something, just as it is possible with all things to become something. But you know, mathematically, it is just a tiny number that really has no essential value, unless our Father has something else different to say.