About a week ago I wrote an entry painting a rosy picture of the end of the journey for the Literature students I teach. By God’s grace they made it; most of them at least, and that was good enough for me, and the school.
On Friday evening I received news of the possibility of continuing this arduous journey with the students in 2013. It threw me off balance because all along I had convinced myself that October 8 would be the day I put all of 4N Literature into a box, wrap it up with a black bow, and chuck it into a storeroom. I disallowed my heart and mind from entertaining the possibility of teaching Literature to upper secondary students in 2013.
The phone-call from my vice-principal destabilised me. I am sure I would be willing to do my part to see them through another year if I had to, but I would not be able to guarantee results at all, and the second year would end on a distasteful, defeated note. On top of that, I had other new commitments to take on in the coming year, and preparing a cohort of students for a major national examination with a lot more at stake, would not make it easy.
This unnerved and worried me so much, I finally decided to send an email to share some of my personal concerns about the workload I currently have to juggle with, under the advice from some well-meaning peers. Then to make up for the lost hours of mind-boggling, race-against-time late nights/early mornings preparing for the start of the school term, I took a nap.
About an hour after I woke up from my nap, I received an answer. God seemed to graciously intervene and work things out in His marvellous, mysterious way. My principal gave me a call personally to explain the situation, and gave me an answer in two ways. First, a promise that she would not hold the results against me should they open a class – she understands their limitations and that I would try my best. Second, that they were already prepared to relief me of certain periods if necessary. My huge mass of concerns were quelled because of these two threads. Thank God for His grace and mercy! Praise Him for His omniscience and sovereignty!
I will know the outcome by the end of the week. But I know everything is in the hands of God – for an entire year, this God I had neglected and forgotten, had never once forgotten nor abandoned me. He has always been faithful, we just need the faith to commit and the sight to understand.