Distastefulness

I had a minor run-in with my brother today, a few days after his scholarship interview with one of the local ministries. He was telling us how they spoke to him for more than an hour, proud that they were engaged in thoughtful and meaningful dialogue for that long. Of those questions were the candy-crushing sweet questions about the intrinsic meaningfulness of the profession, the value of the career and the questions on your personal convictions. And then for a short, brief moment, my brother mentioned me, talked about my career, my slight disdain but protective musings about it on Facebook.

Now I am proud of my brother, and of course I would have preferred if he left me out of the picture or painted a better picture of me, but what unsettled me was how ignorant they were of how a government ministry works. But what unsettled me more was how affected I was by their ignorance.

“You do not know what someone would do, or how the ministry works.” I cried at one point, tired of their young, carefree and blissful attitude towards anyone who was nice enough to sustain a conversation with them. I remember how I was once youthful and ignorant, believing everyone who was friendly and cheerful.

But there are just too many ways to justify an action, too many ways to determine a right and a wrong, too many faces of people out there, that I have grown not to take my chances any more. Trust yourself, and only trust those who have proven that they share the same convictions and beliefs with you – by word and action – not hearsay.

Am I too cynical?

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