I gained two distinct messages from the trip.
Set higher standards. God will not compromise His plans for you and so shouldn’t you.
The last guy I had a ‘crush’ on had a whirlwind of problems. Mister Shao need not and should not be perfect, but to say that his spiritual life was a roller coaster up and down is an understatement. :/ I had forgotten what it should be like: having like-minded people to engage in edifying conversations. I had forgotten what it felt like to have quality, uplifting fellowship with others, and how much I actually desire it. I had forgotten that it is not enough that someone craves spiritual intimacy with God, or attends church every week or prays every day. Mister Shao needs to live out his faith through his speech and actions, his advice and prayers. Will he be able to lead others in prayer? Will he be able to give out sound biblical advice when others are confused or troubled? I think these things will determine how ready a man is to lead another in a relationship. And I know that God will not compromise on His plans for me and go, “aye, she’s running out of time. How about let’s match these two together, they will do.” So why should I allow myself?
Get your act together. Your expectations slacken because your relationship with God has grown distant.
Obviously if the quality of expectations I set for a Mister Shao are in question, then it reflects my spiritual relationship with God as well. If I am resting in His abundant grace, (1) I would not think that Mister spiritual-life-was-a-roller-coaster-is-an-understatement-guy is acceptable. That, would be settling. And (2), I would be so joyful being busy with other things – serving in church, at work, socialising with friends in healthy activities – not trying desperately to get my act together and stand on my own two feet, not constantly asking myself what I need to do to get my life in order. The fact that I am trying to get my life in order and exercise some spiritual discipline, shows just how slack I have become. The only way to understand the will of God, is to know Him through His word. Please, get your act together, hoshao.