There have been friends who have been very honest with me about their struggles of the heart and soul, and compared to them, I have not been as forthcoming as they have been with regard to my personal feelings. It takes a lot to acknowledge the existence of your emotions, put it into words, and even more to take that and bare them to someone else outside.
So I have been praying about mister shao again, and I know that I should not be praying for my future partner only once in a while when inspiration (or desperation) kicks me.
I was introduced to someone one year ago and I realised that in those twelve hours I was drawn to a very pleasant idea of a man I could get to know even better as a friend, perhaps more. I would be lying to say that that one meeting did not influence what I look for in a person. I would also be lying to myself though, if I allowed myself to believe that I understood him well enough to be able to like him after one day. It gets so complicated that it really is the Lord who is in control of our lives and Him we should commit our lives to.
I prayed that if it is God’s will for us to become friends, we would meet again before the end of the year. In saying that, it also means that I am prepared to let it go completely after December 31 2014. I cannot and will not carry this with me into Twenty Fifteen.
Thank you Lord for your promise that you love us. :)